Memories
by Veronica Barton
Summary: Syd discovers that her most hidden memory is the key to her current peace of mind
1. Default Chapter

Memories  
  
By LANABANA (obviously a nickname, also known as "agentalana" on ALIAS message boards)  
  
Disclaimers-I like to think that all loyal fans own ALIAS, we're just extremely fortunate that we don't have to PAY for it!  
  
  
  
Scene 1  
  
  
  
For some reason I never liked the dentist's office, it made me feel like ET, like some unearthly creature being tested. My phobia has only increased with time, due to recent events.  
  
So here I sit, in a dentist like chair with little nerve sensory discs stuck all over my head, feeling VERY much like poor little ET. It's safe to say that I'm somewhat nervous, but of course, no one can tell, that's my job, to effectively hide my feelings.  
  
Hiding. That's why I'm here today, because my memory is hiding from me, and for some strange reason I really want to be able to look back and remember such embarrassing childhood moments as playing the only surviving turkey in my elementary school Thanksgiving play.  
  
Although many would love to forget such life-scaring moments, I long for them because it's a sign of normalcy. And I want to remember and cherish every normal moment I can. The only problem is that I can't.  
  
So I'm here, I figured if Will can do it, why not me!?!  
  
The doctor begins to speak in soothing tones; she sounds a bit like my favorite radio host, Delilah. "Good evening Sydney Bristow and what can I do for you tonight?"  
  
Blackness. Night.  
  
Flickers of light.  
  
Suddenly I'm standing in the hallway of my childhood home; I look over the banister to see my father speaking with police officers. Their flashing red and blue lights are rhythmically illuminating the whole house, they silently scream "She's-Dead-She's-Dead-She's-Dead"  
  
My father looks up at me, but I know he can't see me; I follow the direction of his furrowed brow and grief stricken gaze. Down the hall is an open door to a perfectly normal little girl room. And there I sit, on bed, oblivious to my loss.  
  
My heart goes out to her, so young so naive, so innocent. I should warn her, save her, SOMETHING! But as I try to take a step, blackness surrounds me. 


	2. Scene 2

Memories  
  
By LANABANA (obviously a nickname, also known as "agentalana" on ALIAS message boards)  
  
Disclaimers-I like to think that all loyal fans own ALIAS, we're just extremely fortunate that we don't have to PAY for it!  
  
  
  
Scene 2  
  
  
  
When the lights come back on, I find myself starring at the front door of the Sloane mansion. Confused, I turn my head slightly to see that my father is also starring at the door. Looking down I notice a frightened little girl standing in between us.  
  
Before I can confirm my worst nightmare, the door flies open and a cheerfully grinning Arvin Sloane says, "Ah, Jack hello, come in, come in!"  
  
I notice that my father actually looks relieved, a reaction I would never associate with Jack Bristow in the presence of Arvin Sloane. Pondering this I follow both my father, and my hesitant younger self, into the lion's den.  
  
I seem to be observing the scene through the eyes of the child before me. Everything seems unusually large and the adult's conversation is muffled.  
  
I feel as though my world is closing in around me. Then I hear an angelic voice, and watch as a female figure approaches me. She lowers herself to my level and smiles sweetly as she says, "Hello, you must be Sydney, my name is Emily."  
  
"Hello," comes a soft reply.  
  
"Do you like flowers Sydney?"  
  
Only a nod of the head this time.  
  
"Me too, would you like to see my garden?"  
  
My heart breaks as I watch myself look to my father for approval, but he's already gone, in his place is Arvin Sloane who adds "Oh yes, Sydney you'd love it, Emily why don't you take Sydney to see your garden and I'll bring out some cookies and milk, how does that sound Sydney?"  
  
I'm filled with the strangest feeling, safety. And I listen to myself reply with anticipation "Yes, thank you!" My little hand gets lost in Emily's larger one and as we walk toward French doors, the light is blinding and the scene is gone, but it is replaced by a series of moments that seem to last a year.  
  
Emily and my younger self working in her garden, and baking Christmas cookies.  
  
Sloane reading me bedtime stories, and letting me play office in his while he worked.  
  
The three of us at The Nutcracker and later joyfully screaming on the Dumbo ride at Disneyland.  
  
It was so normal, like the perfect family, all went black as "When You Wish Upon A Star" melody faded into the distance.  
  
  
  
(I have one more part, I'm saving the BEST for last!!!) 


	3. Scene3

Memories  
  
By LANABANA (obviously a nickname, also known as "agentalana" on ALIAS message boards)  
  
Disclaimers-I like to think that all loyal fans own ALIAS, we're just extremely fortunate that we don't have to PAY for it!  
  
~Thanks for the REVIEWS, keep them coming!!! I'd also like to say that I've never been hypnotized before, and I also don't know a lot about the process, I hope my ignorance won't keep you from enjoying the story, if so, I'm truly sorry!~  
  
  
  
  
  
Scene 3  
  
  
  
The next few scenes flashed before me like a slide show your forced to watch when you visit your grandparents. Key word there being "your," I don't even KNOW my grandparents!  
  
FLASH A curious little girl eavesdropping on a stranger who looks like the father I once had Arvin Sloane fighting. Their mouths don't move, and yet I can hear every word.  
  
"Jack, that's crazy, you're upset and not thinking clearly, she's too young, and still getting over the loss of La."  
  
"DON'T lecture me about my own daughter, OR her pain, THIS is for her own good, for her protection, besides I'll be there and can see her more often."  
  
"Good grief Jack, it's not summer camp you know, you're training them for war. Revenge on Russia won't help you get over this any sooner, this ISN'T the way to handle your hurt, don't turn Sydney into what or who you hate!"  
  
"Enough, I'M her father, not you Arvin, and she's coming with ME!"  
  
FLASH  
  
A scared little girl waving goodbye from the passenger's side of what seems like a hearse. She watches as Arvin comforts a weeping Emily. FLASH  
  
A lost little girl following a familiar stranger into a nameless building.  
  
FLASH  
  
A sad little girl laying in the darkness on a sterile cot in a colorless room, crying herself to sleep.  
  
FLASH  
  
End of the show.  
  
(okay sorry, I have one more part, I had to put this one in for a transition, the best it STILL yet to come, but I hope it will be well worth the wait, although I hate waiting so I'll try to have it up today!) 


	4. Scene4

Memories  
  
By LANABANA (obviously a nickname, also known as "agentalana" on ALIAS message boards)  
  
Disclaimers-I like to think that all loyal fans own ALIAS, we're just extremely fortunate that we don't have to PAY for it!  
  
~ I just want to apologize, for some reason, when I transfer my stories from WORD to Fanfiction, the punctuation changes, oh well, hope you can get the general idea! ~  
  
~ Thanks for all the reviews, I'd appreciate any further advice anyone would like to offer! ~  
  
  
  
SCENE 4  
  
There was something else; I could feel it! Something was hiding in the darkest corner of the most forgotten room of my memory, and I was in mission mode, determined not to leave before retrieving every single forgotten memory.  
  
I ran through the maze in my mind, trying every door, but each housed a scene I had seen before.  
  
Every corner was turned, every door opened, every room thoroughly inspected.  
  
When I had opened the last, I stood at its entrance, and leaned on the door frame exhausted and defeated. The longer I stood there and stared at the blank wall before me, it became obvious that it housed a secret passage, that would have been easily overlooked, had I simply opened the door and left.  
  
It looked as though someone had simply taken a knife and traced the shape of a rectangle on the wall. Upon approaching it, I discovered that it had no doorknob. So I did what any "butt-kicking spy" would do, I started kicking it.  
  
After several nerve shocking attempts, the wall before me began to crumble and its secrets came pouring out.  
  
A classroom was before me. Primary colors were replaced with grays and metal. The walls were stripped of the ABC's and cluttered with political paraphernalia. The children sat still in desks and were eerily quite. When they opened boxes before them I soon realized that they were filled with various parts to a gun.  
  
The teacher instructed them to assemble the gun and set the timer.  
  
I was surprised at how quickly perfectly assembled fire arms appeared all over the room. The buzzer went off and all was quiet, except for the sound of weeping coming from the far corner.  
  
I watched as the teacher began to investigate.  
  
"SYDNEY BRISTOW, QUIT CRYING RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"  
  
Sob. Sniffle. Sob.  
  
"DO YOU HEAR ME YOUNG LADY!?!"  
  
Sob. Sniffle. Hick-up. Sniffle. Sob.  
  
"Ms Smith, I can't do it, I WON'T do it!!!"  
  
"Oh yes you will, or."  
  
"OH LEAVE HER ALONE!" A collective gasp sucked all of the air out of the room. Some one had dared to defy the scariest teacher at school. Twenty pairs of eyes frantically searched the room for my Knight in Shinning armor.  
  
Somehow I already knew what everyone else desperately wanted to know. I remembered.  
  
I remembered that voice from my first night at the school. I hadn't been able to stop crying so I got up and walked around the deserted building, but soon found I wasn't the only one unable to sleep.  
  
I had sat like a statue on a lounge sofa in the dark, as I watched a boy, only a few years older than myself, quietly come sit in the chair across from me.  
  
For a while we sat in silence, it wasn't awkward, but comfortably quiet, well except for an occasional sob that escaped without my permission.  
  
"Why are you crying?"  
  
The concern and compassion in his voice compelled me to reply.  
  
"I miss my mommy, she died."  
  
Silence, and then-  
  
"My dad died too."  
  
And that was it, that's all that was said, I mean what else could we say? There was nothing else, it said it all, we shared the an indescribable pain, we were in the most horrible place on earth, a placed called "Summer Camp" which we both knew wasn't true, knowing that the most important people in our lives wouldn't come to rescue us or be there to greet us if we ever got to go home.  
  
In fact, there was no place called home anymore, we were homeless, and hopeless, until that night.  
  
He got up from the chair and joined me on the couch; he held my hand and let me rest my weary head on his shoulder. That's where they found us the next day, resting peacefully in each other's arms.  
  
That's where it all began, we were inseparable. At lunch we shared fries and swapped Jell-O. At recess we played hockey and house. In class we sat next to each other and passed notes.  
  
People starred, but we didn't care. They frowned and we smiled back. They began to whisper things like "too attached" which only drew us closer together. We had someone, if no one or nothing else; we at least had some ONE!  
  
Someone to lean on, cry with, laugh with, get in trouble with; and we did, all of the above, all of the time!  
  
We possessed a peace that was the exact opposite of the person this "Summer Camp" was designed to produce. We were suppose to become self-reliant, self-centered soldiers, but we defied all the rules and cared about each other, looked out for each other, and in our own innocent way, loved each other.   
  
But this particular day was the last straw; we had got on the last nerve of the last person you want to annoy.  
  
"Leave her alone, can't you see she's upset!"  
  
"MICHEAL VAUGHN, you will not speak to me in such a way, and SYDNEY BRISTOW, just because your father runs this school does not mean you are exempt from class exercises! Oh, I wash my hands of both of you, you're completely hopeless!!! STAND UP!"  
  
So we did and quickly closed the distance between us.  
  
"Follow me"  
  
So we did, holding hands the entire time, like we were willing each other to walk, to take each step.  
  
Once in the main office we were instructed to take a seat on the bench and watched as Ms Smith entered my father's office.  
  
We could hear the heated debate behind the closed door.  
  
"They are too emotionally attached, they are too EMOTIONAL, they must be terminated from the program, at this rate they will never graduate and they are prohibiting the progress of their fellow classmates. Either you handle this or I'll go over your head!"  
  
"That won't be necessary we'll take the appropriate measures, thank you Ms. Smith"  
  
She left in triumph, and watched as two suits came in to separate me from my life source. She smiled as she watched me scream and cry, desperately clinging to the boy beside me, trying to let his calm words comfort me.  
  
"It's okay Sydney, don't be scared, I with you, I'll always be with you, don't cry, everything will be okay.  
  
But in the end they won, and I was drug into a sterile white room and strapped to what looked like a dentist's chair.  
  
I watched as a woman entered the room gave me a shot and began to speak softly, slowly erasing every memory I had of the past year. The time spent with my temporary family, and the precious moments with the best friend I had ever known.  
  
This realization shook my soul, and without the doctor's instruction I came out of hypnosis with a jolt; ready to face reality fully aware of my past and now more than ever ready to face the future. 


End file.
